The book starts here -- Zombie kid-pocalypse -- Seven reasons. I love my marriage ; My body is a lemon ; I don't know anything ; I have a cat ; I have a job ; There shouldn't be children anymore ; People aren't great -- Vows -- It's happening. Relentless ; Flat soda ; We got a win! ; Bomb jokes ; The poo doesn't smell ; Clean forks ; Bleeding ; Danger zone ; Daddymoon ; Baby's eyes ; Sympathetic eating ; Natural history -- Monkey arrives. A reality-bending experience ; A renewal of vows ; A sleepwalker and an insomniac walk into a bed ; Hiccuptown ; We wub you ; Dating my wife ; My side of the story -- Pretending -- Monkey won't sleep. There's no me in we ; Friendly advice from other parents ; Sex maybe ; Great job ; Trying ; The legs don't reach the floor ; It is what it is -- Me and my wife on a plane that's crashing -- Can I have this house when you die? -- So we don't cry -- 525,600 photos -- Natural causes. Sugar fries ; Organic toxic waste ; YMCA ; Slice of life -- The new one. We learn to dance ; The flu ; The eighth reason ; Coutz -- Oonadad -- The book ends here.